I don’t know how much juice my computer has, but I’m going to try to get this in. I forgot to take the cord with me, so the thing is going on its on power’ but one of my resolutions this year is to write more no matter where I am. The other resolution is to stop forgetting to pack things I really need on the road, but you can see how well that one is going.

I’m in — Well, I think you’ll be able to guess where I am. Here’s a hint: I just called room service and spent — no exaggeration here — $31.46 on a glass of orange juice (small) and a pot of coffee.

That’s right, New York. The city so nice, they named it twice. Or maybe they only named it once, and we just paid for it twice. I grew up on Long Island and lived in Manhattan for years, and love coming back here (as much as I can love anyplace that isn’t my own living room), but I swear I don’t know how anyone who works here can afford to live here.

This is a nice hotel, by the way, and I’ve been here before, but it’s by no stretch one of the fancy ones, so the $31.46 isn’t because this is a Four Seasons or something. (You know how The Four Seasons got its name? That’s how long it takes you to pay for it.)

My publicist, Hansen, was staying at The Four Seasons here in New York when we started the book tour, and I picked him up there every night so we could get dinner. It’s a very forbidding place with a giant entry and spooky lighting and brushed metal and impossibly high ceilings. I was actually terrified each time I walked into the joint. The receptionists/concierges were at the end of the room up a huge flight of forbidding stairs, and they were very nice and always smiled and said hello, and by the third or fourth night, after they called up to Hansen’s room to say I was there, one of them conversationally said, “Do you like the hotel? It’s by a very famous designer, and was very controversial when it opened. Some people love it, and some don’t.”

And I said, “A little creepy, isn’t it? It’s like the inside of Albert Speer’s head. Who’s on the top floor, Beezlebub? Maybe that’s where bin Laden’s been hiding.” Just as their expressions started to change I quickly added, “Bar’s back there, right? Ask Hansen to pick me up there, okay”

Come to think of it, that drink was also $31.46.

This entry was posted on Tuesday, January 2nd, 2007 at 1:05 pm and is filed under Larry Miller Humor. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.